dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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