I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
