If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
