I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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