I want to have your abortion
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
