She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
