is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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