people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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