Where is the hickey?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
