WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
