i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
