I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
