your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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