It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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