you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
