I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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