Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This girl is more easily done than said...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
