I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
