life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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