i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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