then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
too bad you live with your parents still
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
