Soap is not a condiment
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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