She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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