We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found your dick twin last night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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