You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
