You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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