I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
