9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
