This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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