you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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