I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize