Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
