Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize