Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
