Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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