i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
