p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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