She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
someone owes me an orgasm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
