it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
