is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
