i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
