I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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