Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
