No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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