Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
