I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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