apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
