I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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