Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
