I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
