i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize