He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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