Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
