Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
KhloĂ© Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
15 Porn Memes Youâ€™re Only Allowed To Laugh At If Youâ€™re Over 18
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.