epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just gift wrapped bread.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
