i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.