I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
