i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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