fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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