i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i believe in u and ur pee
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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