Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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