There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
