It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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