Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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