You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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