Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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