I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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