i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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