I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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